Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Roller-coaster

I'm not sure even where to begin. This semester has been quite a roller-coaster. It has been one of the most chaotic, stressful, frustrating, exhausting, and busy times of my life. It has also included some of the most precious moments and memories of my life (most involving my boyfriend Kirk and best friend Amanda). It has been extremely difficult finding and maintaining a balance between school, work, Kirk and my friends. Last semester was almost completely devoted to school and work. And while I know it is healthiest to maintain a balanced life (work and play) it is extremely difficult. Fortunately I have a boyfriend who is extremely supportive and understanding of my commitment to my coursework and friends who are also graduate students who are in similar situations as I am.

This semester I have also been struggling with the notion of "productive stupidity." Which "means being ignorant by choice." I had been told during my Masters program that the more education one attains the more we realize we don't know, leading us to recognize our ignorance and subsequently feeling "stupid." I have definitely found this to be true and have been struggling with this. Fortunately one of my friends just posted an essay about "productive stupidity" on FaceBook which helped me to accept my feelings as natural and actually appreciate the struggle I have been facing as part of the process. For now I am working to accept productive stupidity as a necessary and important process for me to experience and engage in. Although this semester has been mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting, I am thankful for all the opportunities I've been given within my assistantships, the opportunities for growth that have been a result of being challenged academically, and the support of family and friends. I am particularly thankful that I have a boyfriend who can always make me laugh and help me relax during stressful times. Although this semester has been challenging it has also helped me to realize all the blessings I have in my life.

1 comment:

rachel and matt said...

So well put! I want to believe that I am not as stupid as I think I am but pretty sure that is the case :) Anyways, love you to pieces and I will see you very very soon!